High drama at Cafe Bon Bon. Duck mayhem and hairy arses in Franschhoek.

Quinoa stuffed calamari.

It’s a sunny Saturday, and a morning truffling in Franschhoek bookshops with friends is concluded with a long leisurely lunch at Cafe Bon Bon.

Well, that was the plan.

The end result turned out a little differently.

A leisurely lunch descended into a drama filled farce, and the book buying resulted in less of Elizabeth David first editions, and more of a catalogue of naked chef’s hairy arses.

We were there for the food. So let’s begin with Cafe Bon Bon. It is located up the Excelsior Road. You drive to the top of the building site, I mean the Main Street, and turn right at the Huguenot Monument. The road winds up the side of the valley, and eventually you happen on La Petite Dauphine , which is a fruit and vine growing estate, with some lovely cottages in the grounds.

Saffron and rosewater chicken with ginger cinnamon and cashew.

It is a location straight out of Hollywood central casting. Beautiful buildings are surrounded by carefully manicured grounds and fields of vines. The weather being warm and sunny we decided to sit on the terrace.

 The terrace overlooked a large pond.

Delicious tomato soup arrived as starters, as did quinoa stuffed calamari. Intense flavours, beautiful presentation. The winner was a bottle of La Bri Chardonnay, which had us all asking for more. I don’t know what it is about eating out in the open, with a slight hint of a cold front in the air, but our senses were sharpened. This wine’s acidity and citrus notes cutting the food beautifully.

Mains of pork belly and saffron and rosewater chicken with ginger, cinnamon and cashew followed. These are the courses I mention because they stood out as exceptional, in appearance and taste.

Then it happened. A small squadron of ducks had landed in the pond and were quacking merrily, waiting for their regular afternoon feed. More arrived, splashing down, making a great quacking chorus.

Chris Smit. Understanding, talented, and has a few duck menus up his sleeve.

My dog, a small Irish Jack Russell bitch, and normally a placid and loving animal, decided enough was enough. She charged down to the pond and launched herself in with a splash. 25 minutes later, and after the entire restaurant clientele and staff came out to watch the action, my husband, with the aid of a brave waiter, had hooked the dog from the pond, and it was carried dripping to the car and left there.

Back to the meal. Yes, where was I? Oh yes, their fantastic cakes, pastries and Grand Ma’s baked lemon meringue. Just had to have some, oh no!!, the dog had escaped from the car and was in the pond again!

More consternation and a slightly tipsy audience. Some began to take bets. One of my fellow diners, well known Cape Town artist Alex Hamilton, joined in the rumpus, but he’ll never make the Springboks, as he skidded onto his rear end in an attempt to catch the wet slippy dog.

But all’s well that end well. We apologised profusely for the dogs behaviour. Chris Smit was most gracious. “Not a worry”, he said, “The duck would have been on the menu tomorrow”.

Now that’s what I like in a restaurant; great food, great wine, understanding staff and

Jackie 'O', not a fan of quacking ducks.

plenty to keep the dog amused.

But back to the naked chef’s and the hairy arses. This was a publication brought out in 2004 as a fund raiser for The Franschhoek Hospice. It is apparently a collectors item now, and features the naked forms of such well known chefs as Margot Janse, Reuben Riffel, Tina Jewell and Pierre Hendriks. Even Topsi Venter makes a demure appearance. You get the pics, front and back of each chef, and a nice recipe.

I should add that only the male chef’s arses are hairy.

I got to the bottom of the restaurant industry in Franschhoek.

Cafe Bon Bon

Excelsior Road

Franschhoek

021 876 3936, cafebonbon@lapetite.co.za